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October 18 麻省下的不是雪又下雪了，可这次，已全无了第一年来美国的惊喜，
唯有长太息以掩涕，长呼汝辈不知生活之艰！
下雪，那意味着6个月严酷寒冬杯具的开始，
下雪，那意味着二手车市场进入slow market，
下雪，那意味着厚重的外套和短袖滑稽的结合
下雪，那意味着多吃多睡可却相对无法多运动，
下雪，那意味着新的一年会不期而至很快到来，
下雪，一切貌似都不正常。
道指发了疯的冲上10000点，沪指在1个月内重回3000点，美国油价突破75美元，中国市场汽车行业报告预期本年度销售将超过美国，一切看似都将在雪中太不正常走出寒冬，一切又似不太正常地乍暖还寒。
在人迹罕至的美国，驾车看景成为了时下流行得不行的活动。所谓俨骖騑于上路，访风景于崇阿也不过如此。山，水，月，夜，枫叶，樱花，鱼，雨，雪，雨夹雪，鱼加雨夹雪都成为每一个scenic spot。原因很简单，大家在学习的重压下无端地无聊，都在冷冷清清，凄凄惨惨戚戚中寻寻觅觅远处的美景，压抑的神经禁不住挑逗，以至于看到一只松鼠窜出来会忍不住失声大呼“That’s awful!” 其实你这么失声也没所谓，只是先把英语练好别说错，毕竟从awful到awesome还有很长的路要走。
记得上次和一哥们两人饶有兴致开了8小时到美加边境看大瀑布，回程时又心旷神怡地沿着封了路的Pennsylvania到纽约转了圈，差点没累得半死。据统计，在美国车辆多于人头数，建立在高速公路上的美国经济能在08年之前屹立不倒也是有原因的，可现在随着Detroit的沦陷，中国汽车市场年逾10%的增速，where are your crappy cars’ way?
逾一年，我在美国也卖了10辆车了，最近又买了辆最早买过最喜欢的Honda Civic, with rear spoiler.一切仿佛又回到从前。 开着车穿越在农村和城市的小路上，风吹着脸，静静地，悄悄地，时而望见蜿蜒的河流和无垠的农田，还是那么静静的，让我用心感觉着这座由不得拒绝的城市，一切显得那么安宁，只有那时而纷纷落下的红叶，暗喻着四季的更替，生命的轮回。学习MIT课程Leadership, Management and Arts是件很痛苦很开心的事，抽象和具体的结合之后在回到抽象，万物都是在不言中深有文章。
正如Haiku般触景生情，寓情于景，借景抒情，情景交融，风情万种。
《New England’s Leaves》
Watching leaves falling,
So colorful..yet so sad,
Ah, I can smell the winter…
 Scenic view in New Hampshire
April 29 Let's get down to business  All things have and have to come to an end
though I can not take all these boodbyes
It's time to celebrate my 1st year MBA in crappy U.S.A
Now let's get down to business with China
Welcome any discussion
 March 30 Dead and Gone When I was a child, I spoke like a child and played like a child
now that I am an adult, I have put away childish things
在上半学期学业的重压之下终于熬到了Spring Break从Boston乘飞机去了很远的西部，见到了久违的舅舅，Victoria, Shelly, 阿蔡, 沈迪，Gavin，鸣谢大家在学业重压下抽空我陪我，可惜的是没有合照一张,Too bad!!! 不过此次California之行还是很爽的，以下是我感受, 1.租车在美国很划算，30 刀一天可以租很好的车了，compact和economy的sedan更便宜，在加州的freeway上开车更是酣畅淋漓，日行千里的我10天开遍了Los Angeles, San diego, Las Vegas, Santa babara，见到了该见的人，做了该做的事，因此租车自由行永远是最佳选择。 2. L.A 是个好地方，四季如春，不过读书还是东部适合，至少对我而言，非淡泊无以明志，非宁静无以致远，不是说说的，哈哈~ 3.我在东部至少还要混1年，欢迎大家来玩^ ^
回到Worcester后，生活又步入正轨，学习，健身，篮球，游泳,Car business以及周末的Boston，NYC, Rhode Island，Connecticut hang out 是永远的主旋律 Russian market, Indian food, Mekong, Trader Joe’s也不再陌生 but there should always be something new, I don’t wanna be institutionalized! 隔壁房间有一位自称是长得像因扎吉的印度老处男,也是位纸上谈兵pick-up Artist,于是话题永远在帮他如何想办法get rid of virginity, here’s our common talk， Indian: Hey Tony I m so happy I hit on 2 gorgeous girls today! Chinese: congrats! But I am afraid you still can not finish the next half.. Indian: Yeah I think I will create a Guinness record of virginity, no sex all my life Romanian: I am afraid there’s no such record for you, and it’s hard to prove Indian: Com’ on, Indians can’t have sex before marriage, we have religions, it’s hard Chinese: you are Indian Inzaghi, what’s so hard for you? Indian: I am 30 years old, it’s really hard for Indians to get married that old.. 对酒当歌，人生几何？譬如朝露，去日苦多。慨当以慷，忧思难忘。何以解忧？唯有杜康。 如果人生真的是这样那可是太悲哀了， Here’s another talk between us, Indian: Hey Tony, what’s your definition of life? China: Enjoy life, cherish relatives and friends. What about you? Indian: I think to experience life is like stamping between born and death, that’s it. Romanian: Ha-ha, that’s bullshit, for Indian life is to get rid of virginity 全场人都笑了，印度人的平均寿命只有60岁
来自不同国家的我们都有自己的问题，有些是容易改变的，但很多是需要时间或难以改变的，就像东欧经济低迷，印度的slum和中国的人权问题，然而我们都深深热爱自己的祖国，那是骨子里的。 看了很多遍Randy Pausch 的Becoming better you，每次都有不一样的感触，没有看过的人可以看下Randy Pausch，对你的人生和英语提高都有好处 上周末去了Boston著名的Roxy,看图就知道是什么了，
I was totally petrified mortified, scarified, stupefied by all these scene, Hot handsome naked men hugging kissing stroking dirty dancing everywhere 当然也可以看到lesbians和threesome, foursome, 5 some, 6 some… NYC可以不去，Las Vegas可以不去, Grand Canyon,可以不去, 但是,gay club一定要去 但是,不要变成Gay。
February 10 World Hold On
Life is meaningless without any adventures or explorations, Hence,why not to be a risk-taker
Times that I have driven on Mass pike or Route 9 is a lot, I can not stop tasting that still. Boston is my every weekend resort,I like the city so much cuz I found it wierdly like Shanghai, i.e Commonwealth Ave. is like 延安高架路, Massachusetts Ave. is like 南北高架路 You guys can see how deep my love for SH is.
The speed of sound makes me forget and remember everything, sometimes I don’t know where I am, only songs from my burnt CDs draws me back to reality that it's essential to catch up with the world .I am into cars right now. My first car Saturn couldn't run fast cuz it's crappy American Junk, the crutch was shitty and I had to hold the wheel so tight as if it's going to break apart soon; My second one Toyota corolla was not that bad, it's the best seller in US, still I feel it a little bit shaken cuz the engine was not that perfect and I need more power; Volkswagen Jetta in US was pretty damn good car,It even got contraction system so that I can never slid on the ice,"oops"; Audi A4 was also a handsome car, despite for the high cost of maintaining the car, the girl runs terribly awesome. After talking so much,you know I would rather get a tractor and drive back to China. America sucks... ok,after finish studying,let’s hang out somewhere~
Don't lag behind,save your crappy car,I will see you guys later
December 16 One WeekAfter 4 months of struggling in US, sleepless nights in Worcester, and consecutive studying days from New York City to the snowing days in Boston, I am one week away from going back home. In one week, I will turn the page of life that I have sacrificed from endless studies on Main street to all sorts of bitter and sour experiences on Park Avenue. I am one week from redemption.
Before one week, I have talked to people from up to 50 countries ,experienced life and met cultural differences in and out of class that I had never tasted before, from experiencing global economy crisis in Wall Street to the pub celebration of Obama winning American president in White House, from forming international teams playing basketball and soccer games to being a waiter serving food, waiting tables and cleaning dishes in a Chinese restaurant, I am one week from going back home.
In one week, I will be temporarily leaving some of the best international buddies I have made here, to meet dozens of best friends I have made in China, from deserting my manual Saturn on woodbine street to my automatic Honda in my garage
 ; from turning my cold shoulder to the dirty American clubs and monkey dances to my favorite ones in Shanghai, I am one week from going back home.In one week, I will finish all my final exams, and hopefully get straight “A”s. And that’s why I can’t afford to slow down, sit back, or let up for one day, one minute, or one second in this last week.
In one week, I will be landing in Shanghai PVG airport on an especially sunny day.
 Tom and Jerry, cocktail from me, missing you as the name, I will be home for Christmas.
 November 13 Suffering BastardHey guys long time no see; I know if I don’t write something new, some of you will keep on forgetting me and eventually don’t know who this dude is on msn! So, in order to cherish all the happiness we once shared together, I had to act positively. Well, what to say? There’s a cocktail named “Suffering Bastard”, which is a mixture of rum, liqueur, lime juice and else, and it may exemplify what my feeling is right now. 你永远不知道，你的习惯会让你错过什么。 I know it’s a little bit hard to adapt yourself in a new environment and use a language tool you are not so familiar with, but you have to try hard, that’s why I keep on hanging out with guys from Sweden, Palestine, Romania and else.
凋谢是真实的，盛开只是一种过去
Sometimes feel like I am getting old, 3 months seems to be like 3 years, which also reminds of how time went fast when I was in Songjiang. As you know, having classes and during discussion with Americans in their 30s or 40s who keep talking about their wives and children to me was awesome and a little bit awful. That’s why I always interrupted them by saying “hey we should focus on the topic professor just mentioned! 出生一张纸，人生一辈子；毕业一张纸，奋斗一辈子；婚姻一张纸，折腾一辈子；做官一张纸，斗争一辈子； 金钱一张纸，辛苦一辈子；双规一张纸，后悔一辈子；荣誉一张纸，虚名一辈子；看病一张纸，花钱一辈子； 火化一张纸，了结一辈子；淡化这些纸，明白一辈子；忘了这些纸，快乐一辈子！朋友不用纸，开心一辈子！ I don’t know what’s going on in Shanghai or other places where you guys live, no time to do the R&D, give me feedback if you want just to hope every one's having every lovely day and sweet night you deserve it, esp. before,thanks giving day
October 12 Raspberry伏特加和艳舞女郎Hey you,out there in the cold,getting lonely, getting old,can you feel me?
Hey you,standing in the aisles,with itchy feet and fading smiles,can you feel me? Hey you,standing in the road,always doing what youre told, can you help me?
Hey you,out there beyond the wall,breaking bottles in the hall,can you help me? Hey you,out there on your own,sitting naked by the phone,would you touch me? Hey you,with you ear against the wall,waiting for someone to call out,would you touch me?
Every weekend we were finding something out,we were finding more and more that were not alone, some one would come to my place,Ghost ji,definitely, and Shawn,Ghoast and I all went to the strip tease clubs or Irish Times(local "Richy"),who gives a shit? Now we have great wars,we have great depressions,we are getting to know the real meaning of happiness,we are no longer middle children of history, it’s the greatest moment of your life, so come on guys, stop complaining shits to me,you are losing the best part of your life,just see how far you can go!
We are generations raised up by women,I really wonder if another woman is the answer that we need?I often come up with some native Americans complaining to me that he’s gonna have a divorce soon, so I got bewildered..Are you guys live in a more thoughtless world?Or fuckers should open franchises？ With the lights out it's less dangerous. Here we are now.
September 19 梦里是客莫贪欢那里曾有灯火的辉煌，那里没有漫漫无尽黑夜
那里永远不会被遗忘，那里没有孤单寂寞黑夜 那里是我的hometown; 在夜深人静时总能回想到很久以前的事
在家园，在故乡 太多的表情却没有适当的言语; 我如果好久没出现，那是在庸人自扰
一直很怀念松江，很怀念上戏，很怀念那些游手好闲的日子 而现在。。她们变得远不可及 但那些人那些事却始终烙印在我心底 I Miss You My Friends 你也一定能感觉的到，我们同样律动的心跳; 下一站 下一段
人生 其实有很多驿站 刚离开终点站上海站 而这站 仅仅在大洋彼岸而已; Everybody knows it’s smart to sell stocks when they start to go down and to buy them when they start to go up.
That’s a no-brainer.Even a little kid could figure that out.
面对美国抑或是全球的金融危机，每天耳边充斥着cnn的评论和美国佬的抱怨 I m already tired of it，什么都是有前因后果，subprime crisis，国家有责，匹夫亦有责! 人世旧，是与否，莫回首，心尘落，难为恨，寄沙舟，任漂流，非君意，忧与愁，随风走
梦里是客 but I m just doing fine; 回忆 在时间里沉淀；
时间 在回忆中消失。 September 01 no.11 woodbine street
I walk a lonely road,the only one that I have ever known
深深的话要浅浅地说，我却不知从何处说起，因此我选择闭口缄默； 来美国快１０天了，I just wanna say I am fine,whatever it takes. 最终还是在pending中选择了MBA,
经历了一周的orientation，渐渐了解worcester这座城市，城市很小，像个农村，其实美国大多数城市都是这样，只是我们这的Hispanics和Mexicos比较嚣张。晚饭时分隔壁hispanic家隆隆的hiphop party又让我想起了Shanghai，于是我只能用laptop放小情歌和他们比拼。和黑哥们打了第一场篮球，和西班牙人打了第一场桌球，和法国人第一次深入交流，都他妈一个字，锉！ 孤单是一群人的狂欢，狂欢是一个人的孤单，原来我们已来到了一座伤城
晚上走在Main street是件很可怕的事情，更可怕的是你的心是否温热
July 27 呐喊bleeding life最近火气很大，王老吉也没少买，怎耐的如此大火气，估计是快去美国读书出国综合症来了。先说说最近的情况，自从去马尔代夫转悠了一圈之后就一直很衰，话说我正在马尔代夫paradise island海滩边抹太阳油准备和老外飙肌肉时，4c发来一条短信：你也去XX学校阿？我看到顿时楞了一几，意识到世界之小，的确小到天涯何处无芳草，和4c在美国万众期待的幸福生活的序幕就要拉开了。这不，还没去美国，已知同行者逾4人矣。 老子很不爽，老子有话说，前天晚上开车去延安路江苏路口接猪小倩，在延安路的天桥下面等她，我也没注意，就把车停在快车转弯道上等着，还没过2分钟这时不知哪窜出来一警察，问我何人如此大胆如是行车！我还没来得及踩油门溜之大吉，他已经非常邪恶非常暴力地把我车门拉开问我要证，我想这下完了，我驾驶证也没带无证驾驶是要被关的，于是乎连忙把行驶证搪塞给他，并琢磨着下步怎么办。谁知这警察不知老眼昏花还是未老先衰， shei的跑去江苏路主干道灯光下看我证，说时迟那时快我已弃证驱车远去。双证全无叫我如何是好！直到昨天我还难凭一己之力将证取出，不得不哀求父母通警察局关系取证。在闸北警局出事之后世风日下，又加狗屁奥运袭来，奉劝各位车友安全行车，richy,muse,babyface门口挨辆检查，酒后驾车被捉不论你摄入多少cc酒精，你就着等被关吧。 又话说王shei博云南成都之文化苦旅也已结束，认同其所谓的life is a journey之观点，你经历了越多，遇到越多的人，表面是发现别人，实际上是发现了更多的自己。父母对我万千般宠爱，单从出国数量就足以见得，此次马尔代夫是我去过的第11个国家，面对不计较付出与回报如此为大般的爱，我意识到了FAMILY原来是Father And Mother I Love You.相信没人会反对吧，只能说好好做人，好好读书，好好深造才是父母最大的安慰。 再说爱情再说性。此情无计可消除，才下眉头，却上心头。前些日子和一男性好友去richy喝酒乱侃，两杯长岛之后去舞池荡漾，旁边两25左右岁数的“大姐”从一开始就对我挤眉弄眼的，围着我跳了几圈之后顺势拉我去她们卡座，且不说她俩姿色多风骚诱人，就说拉着我那手劲就好生了得，我还是一直健身的也受大不了，去了卡座之后对我又是一杯杯香摈一杯杯芝华士的炮轰，那阵势真是不把我灌醉不罢休的，恍恍忽忽的我也不知怎么回事，她两一个嘴一个胸的就贴了上来，我一向对送上门来的没有什么好感，况且ONS也不能双管齐下阿，她俩手劲如是了的，不会一起sm吧？瞬时我又想到网上那些偷肾卖钱的忒的骇人惊闻，趁着还有点清醒连忙打招呼说上厕所溜之。好友说我去了美国要好好玩，好好弄，好好玩弄，为中国人争光。我说去你妈的，老子是正经人，老子是报着好好读书的心态去那深造的，梦里不知身是客，一晌贪欢，丫的你要搞你去搞，我不送！且不说人身安全，谁知道那白妞黑妞的怎么回事，大辄动到中美关系，小则染一身病我顶谁个肺？！况且说到底我们还是生在传统的国度，和自己女友ml才能到达感情的交流和欢愉，动物般的交姘徒发泻性欲矣。 快要离开生活了20余年的乐土，离开至亲的人奔赴凶卜未知的远方只有在临行前的人才有所感悟。Man if you want to get something, you have to desert something,that’s all life is about.羌笛何须怨杨柳？且不须折柳告别，你那望穿秋水的眼神已经告诉了我一切。人要知足，人要知恩。感谢曾经帮我或者与我为敌的人，是你们帮我更清楚地认识自己，抛开自尊越来越无耻地活着，只是为了活出自己。如果说shei博一直是勇敢的对自己说be true to yourself,那我这4年是一直告诉自己人生是不断历练自己的过程，要忠于自己的目标，坚持5年计划锻炼身体，更要坚持锻炼自己的意志，强大内心。会当临绝顶，一览众山小。 珍惜俩字再次重提，“不管以后将如何结束至少我们曾经相聚过”之类的歌词纯属放屁，属于痴男怨女的山盟海誓，相信我，珍惜。 最近还是碰到好人好事的，在网上认识的程程学姐未曾谋面，便帮我联系好了房子且预先帮我付了房租，在此再次表感谢！ 没事多呐喊，少想屁事，愉悦心情，愉悦大众，仅此而已。
Ps.我的msn人数已经爆了，要加加 tony_tong_xin@hotmail.com 感谢。 June 24 if I never see you again一个很长久的话题，距离远了人的感情都会淡了，不论是友情还是爱情亲情。如果真的这样，那么当你睁眼闭眼的所到之处只不过是人生的一个个驿站，在你身边的只不过是一个个陪伴你长大老去的躯体而已，不管曾经现在和未来。 亲情: 我们都看过很多的生离死别,可是有谁是在一直痛苦着?每个人在现实生活中不可能把自己的精神寄托在一个很遥远的东西上,有了距离,感情疏远是必然的事情，就好比出过国的孩子一开始都有想亲人想到不可自拔，但时间久了也就适应了，没有父母陪伴也照样一个人过日子，虽然很爱他们，但却不再依赖。 友情: 别说阿拉友情不够深厚,朋友间长期不在一起,渐渐就少了许多共同话题,而且会有新的朋友出现替代老朋友以前陪在你身边的那个位置。 老朋友还是老朋友，但倘若你们由于各种原因而疏远联系了，昔日的友情是否还能有那种温存？我身边就有好友打趣道如果大家过个1，2年没见到到时说不定早已经结婚了，想想这光阴似箭的这几年没准催产n对新人出来，那诸如兄弟间的情谊早也转移重心到家庭去了。 爱情: 我想这个不需要我说,例子太多了！光举事例就能压死人，“两情若是久长时,又岂在朝朝暮暮”说白了，这不过是诗人一个美好的愿望罢了。 even if i never see you again May 17 频率是不是只能透过双手，爱才会有交直流？
我却怎么也找不到够坚强的插座
无数泪凝望着汶川苍白的夜晚
所有的牵挂都塌方在电话盲音中 该怎么关注你，我的祖国 莫非蜀道之难，难于上青天？
日夜的媒体，只有你冰冷的过往
恼人的秒针，一分钟竟然哽咽六十次
给我一架云梯，让汶川高过暴动的地壳 塔罗啊，点亮我吧，化作星辰陪伴你们日夜的祈祷 请草草做暗地里的棉纱，切勿停歇风中无私的抚慰 咽了下一口 希望就能放出彩虹 落在我胸口
 汶川的土，在跳动的世界里劫持了我心跳的频率 静止也不休息 却抓不住你的呼吸
汶川的风，在流动的时间里拨乱了我生活的旋律
转眼整个世界 孤儿们只剩你的应许
咽了下一口 希望就能放出彩虹 落在你胸口
跟上自然的节奏，而非地震的频率
还孩子原生态的成长，还老人平凡地老去
 April 24 convicted济南印象
泉城。军区。鲁菜。川菜。桌球。饺子。豪爽。邂逅。
趵突泉。大明湖。游乐园。好乐迪。芙蓉街。灰姑娘。
泉城广场。恒隆地产。2046。公交车站。兰博基尼。
 来去济南匆匆，没带照相机，照片都是用爱疯留念的
 飞机是项神奇的发明。短短一小时的盹就能把人从一个城市带到另外一个，乘飞机无数次了，但每次都会习惯性地想到了fight club，谁又知道，浓缩橙汁和等量的汽油能制造"home-made bomb"？
回到上海，立马和yaoson,shei小聚，家的感觉实在是太好了。
"今天的事今天做，复杂的事想法做，简单的事迅速做，紧急的事限时做，琐碎的事抽空做，所有的事认真做。"
印花税下调，激动之余不禁再写下一笔，希望接下来的日子能过个真正的中国年。  china很红很强大。April 05 Family AffairEvery day，every sencond，you make a decision that can change your life.
Often do I come up with a question of who I am, ladies do ask me such questions from time to time,too. To be frank, I really have no idea about that, the world is changing, people around you are changing, and Huan is not Huan one second ago, so I always talk to them:“Je ne sais pas.I guess It needs our lifetime to get to know each other.” I guess I got psycho. I wonder if I wake up at a different time and a different place, can I stiill be Huan or a different person? People around you are just images and images. And I just divide them into single-serving, double, triple-serving and else. I do wonder how many single-serving friends I am gonna meet throughout my whole life. I mean, we meet somewhere, we have our time together and we never know each other again. Bones sinking like stones all that we've fought for. Don’s panic. 世界在转动，你只是一粒尘埃，没有你，地球照样在转动。现实是不会按照你的意志去改变的。生活的残酷会让人不知所措。倘若终日沉浸在迷茫彷徨之中，不愿意睁大双眼看清形式，不愿去想是哪些细小的因素累积在一起造成了这种局面，那就准备这样一辈子混沌下去吧，直到哪一天长醉复醒后直呼“人生最邪恶的是只能年轻一次”，呜呼不亦痛哉？？很怀念高中时拼搏的时光，很怀念那时那股很蓬勃很暴力的呆气，很怀念高三那坑坑洼洼的墙上贴着的“长风破浪会有时，直挂云帆济沧海”的对联，到是长大后听着“无所谓”哼着无所谓觉得什么都是无所谓了。清明回老家扫了次墓，发现自己少了很多田园气质，但好在羁鸟恋旧林，池雨思故渊，面对着长辈的循循教导，那种从小自心底建立的为建设故乡而奋斗的宏伟目标又重新建立起来，但问题是be a gold digger,or join the celtics? 期待吧，生命中充满了期待，两条平行线也会有相交的一天。
"A tiger can smile. A snake will say it loves you.Lies make us evil." Hey even Monalisa’s falling apart, What about lies?sigh. What else can I say? I'm sorry...You met me at a very strange time in my life. February 25 A Gentle Nightmare想moto就别日记，想读书就别放弃
想碗里就别锅里，想修身就别嬉戏
想上班就别晚起，想开车就别蹭漆
想健身就别泄气，想幸福就别演戏
想赚钱就别儿戏，想成功就得努力！
写日志或许已经成了习惯，成了一种解不掉的心结，每过一段时间总要更新一下，一来和平时不太联系的朋友有些交流互动，二来也算对近日的自己有个交代，只是若写的太深显得过于愚昧和做作，而倘若写的太浅却又显得肤浅和流水，倒不如不写或加个密什么的，独享其文也不失好心情，however,everyone has his breaking point,so sometimes u have 2 decide it on your own n realease them.
  或许，我们遇到太多太多的dilemma,或许，到现在，我们也难以做出所谓正确的抉择，而当时的我们，又是抱着怎样的情怀？
平素习惯性的打开msn，从好友的一个个性签名中可以感知网络另一段的心情故事，有很欢的，有很shei的，有哭天跄地要XX的，也有信誓旦旦要XY的，anyway，希望新年大家能有自己的new year resolution，在每一个dilemma的夹缝中找到自己的路。
这些天，香港那边sensational的消息一个接一个地来，而通过大家茶余饭后热乎的嘲讽和调侃，我似乎再次感受到了比冬天还寒冷的绝望，到不是说孰是孰非，而是在一切貌似完美的包装之下掩藏了多少虚伪和邪恶?而那些扭曲而畸形的灵魂需要承载多大的压力和包容？
的确，风平浪静的海面下暗流涌动不为人知那也是情有可原，只是揭竿而起的那一刻意识到了事态的丑陋和世俗的嘲讥之后，还剩什么？唯余笑尔。Pride、Envy、Wrath、Sloth、Greed、Glutony、Lust，how much can you survive?
  You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else... I really wonder if god was one of us,just like a stranger on the bus
I really wonder if sweet things come after bitterness when they say so
I really wonder if a friend in need is a friend indeed,btw,what kinda need
I really wonder if chemical effect lasts long enough if we both endeavour
I really wonder if another is always the answer that we human beings need.
I really wonder if the meaning of our life terribly and bitterly lies in salvation.
January 26 红楼101好久回到了自己的日志，发现光打理头发不打理日志，竟然差点少了一个月，直感叹生命里减轻了一个月的发呆时光。 我想，这可能是时间的信用卡在刷卡的时候，忘记了要收据。 在上戏学表演拍片的日子很快就要结束了，声台形表学了个遍，老师很变态，学生很努力，自己也悟出了许多东西，真的很有收益，大家对表演有什么感兴趣的问题尽管问我好了，希望能对以后各方面管用。 在期间认识了许多帅哥美女，也感叹下后生可畏，有不少是上戏的学生，也有很多是今年准备报考和已经报考的，大家在一起学习拍戏的过程中真的很开心，自己也不敢想结班后的分离，一女生看起来不怎么起眼，一说自己北漂了三年，曾在英皇二线写歌，这次连报了木偶，导演和表演，还都进了3面，直叹后生可谓啊。 在逛到朋友的日志上，好象最近天冷了不少人心也很冷，我想说的是快乐要有悲伤作陪，雨过应该就有天晴。如果雨后还是雨，如果忧伤之后还是忧伤．请让我们从容面对这离别之后的离别。我用坚毅的眼神告诉你，永远不要停止微笑，微笑地去寻找一个不可能出现的你，你才会获得新生！ 记得有一次下课回家的路上，看见有人在卖小狗，有一只灰灰的，看上去呆头呆脑，大概是他小伙伴里最笨的吧，胖胖的脑袋耷拉着，鼻子湿湿的． 我站的远远的看着，津津有味，怕自己会冲动的想要买下，因为害怕别离，所以拒绝拥有． 这样愚蠢的想法也用在感情上． 乖，不怕不怕． December 26 心太羁。Only great minds can read this .This is weird, but interesting! fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too.Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed this tehn you are celver enugoh to udnersantd my spcae. There are two tragedies in life. One is not get your heart's desire. The other is to get it. ----- Oscar wilde 这几天在身体不适，喉咙痒痒的鼻子痒痒的身体痒痒的但还得在家养着，估计是拍大城小事时被西北风吹出来的，得出结论：1. 拍戏真的很辛苦，记性不好人很shei的就不要多想了，就像我一样！2.马路上被拉去拍戏的得不到好的报酬，就像我一样！我戏份少两天就杀青了于是乎在家调养看书看片，现在好重出江湖了！~
昨日鬼使神差的上了土豆网继saw后又把HostelI,II一口气看了下来，很受震撼，也就在这费舌调侃几句~大致说的是入住Hostel的旅客如何神秘消失以及被富商肆意玩弄杀戮的事，情节就不展开了，血腥程度和saw不相上下，但影片更加强调金钱之下妄图和渴求而非渐行渐远的人性和道德的沦丧。
Hostel II把当I中的色情完全转化成女性意识的体显无疑是成功的，但我们绝不能由此而判别II带有所谓的女权色彩！因为片中最大的赢家绝不是女性本身，而是金钱，一种权力。女性与男性的对峙以及暴力的实施在金钱面前都是不堪一击的，贝丝之所以能够解救自己绝不是由于女性身份，而是金钱更多的原因。所以，回归到托德所说的话中，在没有法律的地方，是金钱让人们为所欲为，让人们充分发挥自己的潜在的暴戾与罪恶。
无论是影片中的受猎者还是猎捕者，以及观影的人都在承受着金钱的拷问，于是，色情与暴力在本集中显然不再占据主导地位，仅仅成为金钱作俑下的某种产物而已，这是一个社会问题，被各种表现所掩盖然后却归纳出来的社会问题。
回到开头Oscar Wilde所言，人生的悲剧莫过于两个，一是得不到自己想要的，二是得到了自己想要的。而后者更为悲哀。想想真是不假，在没得到想要得东西前，苦苦追求，求之不得，悲哀啊！得到了想要得东西后，就失去追求目标，没有方向，下面不知干什么，岂不更悲哀吗！其实生活本来就平平淡淡才是真，知道了这些，我们才能更珍惜身边的，更加心态平和，心无外物的生活~
如果身不能及，心却向之，那么反正都是无聊，有钱就加入个hunting dog俱乐部，没钱就在这万恶的月底+年底拼命读书赚钱吧!~
December 09 Perfect RandomDear Mr. Random:
I want to play a game...
U r unworthy of the body that u v possessed,of the life that u v been given.
Game over.
生活就像个随机数，人们喜欢都是一切的不经意，什么都安排好反而觉得无味
就好比平时开车总习惯一启动就打开audio power,虽然6碟连放却终感不爽，原因何在？
自己碟虽好听却总知下首是什么，因此直接就转听FM,电台里的音乐时好时坏，但若出现首自己喜欢的，便会兴奋不已
一个idea造就了一个帝国，Steve Jobs巧用了人们这一心理，制造了玩世不恭的i shuffle，成就了random的美名
人们喜欢在灯红酒绿下游荡也不是这个原因吗？在夜色的遮蔽下可以random认识不同的人，强烈的不安全感下是燥动的兴奋感
问题是，how long will it take u to go back home?both physical and mental..
前些天看罢朋友隆重推荐的曾子墨个人自传《墨迹》，说的是笔者作为90年代一位优秀的女青年闯荡美国华尔街的事，其人在美国奋斗的经历固然可歌可泣，但作者字里行间里流露的高人一等不可一世之气没给我留下半点好感，因此看一半便宿之高阁了，人生随机数一个，许多前因后果今生前世说不清楚，何必如此牛X?
回到开头，熟知这些话的肯定看过《SAW》系列，IV也出来了，前三集看的惊心动魄荡气回肠，因此第四集除了肢解和最后的设局之外却顿感失去了影片的议论性，说的依然是人性，照James Wan所言人性本恶，什么都改变不了，那些游戏再重复几遍还是徒然无功。照我来看还是人性本贝*，Mr Loser Ｉwant to play a game之后也必然是game over. 因此在James Wan看来这个随机数只有2个答案，那就是死亡和重生，但是死亡=重生。
玩塔罗牌也好一阵了，种种possibility却始终不能为我所掌握，对面的那位也仿佛永远是个随机数，但见牌后答案就不随机了， 死神抑或皇帝，祭祀抑或恶魔看得一清二楚，因此我们不得不相信horoscope,相信predestination.
"Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the titanic. It's all going down man,
so, fuck off with you're sofa units, and string green stripe patterns.
I say never be complete. I say stop being perfect. I say let's evolve, let the chips fall where they may."
 Whatever, u may say that you had a bad day,your life is a piece of shit.I may say that life is just nothing but a series of random numbers
So ,just let the chips fall where they may,let the data stay random,
but..be worthy of it,or the game will be over.Where is your mind? November 08 silence of the lamb 如果临渊羡鱼，不如退而结网；
如果说毕业转眼将至，到不如说人生刚刚开始；
如果说朋友同学分了感情会疏远，倒不如说你来过一下子我记住一辈子；
如果用抱憾的眼泪来磨洗那远逝的青春，倒不如洗心革面来迎接更猛烈的暴风雨；
如果说倒夕阳无限好，只是近黄昏，倒不如说大江东去，浪淘尽、千古风流人物；
如果走阳关道能安稳过上一辈子，那我愿铤而走险那飞湍之上的独木桥；
如果说羔羊是用来被宰割的，倒不如说你首先得修补羊圈；
如果说我是那只羔羊，我也不会带罪沉寂一辈子； waiting today waiting to die
October 15 与感情无关 多情自古伤离别，更那堪，冷落清秋节。
这次我离开你，是风，是雨，是夜晚；
你笑了笑，我摆一摆手，一条寂寞的路便展向两头了。  hope is a good thing,maybe the best of all things
I hope that I can make it across the border
I hope to see my friends and shake his hands
I hope the Pacific is as blue as it had been in my dreams
I hope...
 不用刻意写些什么，一切都与感情无关
躺在洒满了落叶的青石台前，
听着虫儿唱着秋天
这天如洗，这水如碧 回头遥望映出些残红的曲径那端，
我将要和春天告别
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Vietnamese are very clever people! Mmm..Where do I come from, sorry I didn’t remember that, as some one put, you don’t belong to China, you don’t belong to America, you belong to the world. CEO Leadership is a good course; I can put what I have learned through class into use—Meet cultural difference.
” Use MBTI of course.
a place for honeymooners
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